Philippine Idol Top 12 ver 2.1

Photo stolen from berglovespizza.

Sorry I, Elvin, can't write my recap today so I left you with another graphic headline instead. I just came from UP (I joined another marathon, hehe) and I am tired and sleepy not because of my 5k wrunning (walking + running combo) but because of Idol's very late timeslot. Late pa nag start.

But...

We'll be having our guest recapper for today. Ladies and gentlemen, a first hand account from none other than our correspondent from front dot center (copyright DWLS FM), Ms. Joyce Jimenez! Enjoy!

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Hi readers! It's me, sexy star slash entrepreneur slash marketing degree holder from Griffith University, Queensland, Australia, Joyce Jimenez. Grabe! I made a new friend last night. It's true pala what they say in McDonald's. Share a seat, win a friend. Ms. Gretchen reserved the seat beside her just for me. So we became friends na. Di ba? Anyway, Patrick Dela Rosa daw wanted to occupy that seat. Ano ba yan! He's there na every week! Di ba? Doesn't he have work to do? If he wants, I can let him sell Private Joyce products naman. Di ba?

Oh gosh I'm here to recap pala. Mau Marcelo sang Crazy In love. And I laughed super hard cause Mau and Gretchy are wearing the same hoop earrings. She danced, albeit a little lamya. I think her vocals suffered because of the choreography. It was just like a poor Beyonce impersonation for me. Di ba? Why kaya everytime someone sings a Beyonce song, they end up impersonating Beyonce. From the moves down to the hoop earrings? Di ba?
Gretchen's mood: Smiley

Ken was next. He's from Australia din pero I don't know if he's got a degree from Griffith University. Why does he stutter kaya everytime he speaks in English? He could be nervous. He sang What's Going On. Not my favorite song because as you, all my fans know, my fave song is Somebody by Depeche Mode. Di ba? Eh Somebody is not soul naman. Gosh I'm digressing. Anyway, they say that Ken's performance this week was better than last week's. Personally, I prefer last week's. His last note for What's Going On was sooo fantastic though. Di ba? If I heard only that one bit, i could have voted for him all night pero sadly, I heard the whole song. Hahaha. I'm so bad. You know naman I'm joking di ba? I must support my continent-mates. Yes continent-mates because Australia may be a country but It's a continent at the same time.
Gretchen's mood: Involved (nodding to the judges' positive feedback on Ken's song)

Apple sang Natural Woman. Her face in her VTR reminds me of this sexy star. What's her name again? *thinks, naps fingers twice*. Ah. That girl with miles, kilometers, lightyears or whatever in her name. Di ba? I liked Apple. Obviously, Mr. Ryan did too. He went as far as declaring that Apple is a serious contender for the title. Not bad for someone who started her Idol Journey with spaghetti song. My God! Dominique was so bored last night! She wasn't impressed at all by Apple's efficient vocal acrobatics and control of notes! Oh no, i'm starting to sound like a music major. Don't forget ha, I'm a marketing major. In fact, I told Gretchy that it's not gonna be hard marketing Apple cause she's talent plus personality and beauty in one package. Di ba? I can think of so many marketing principles right now.
Gretchen's mood: Serious

Stef sang Proud Mary. She's a continent-mate din di ba? I wonder if she saw Ricki Lee Coulter's superb performance of this song on Australian Idol. Stef's looking slimmer and slimmer. Di ba? She said she's gonna make her performance sexy and she's showing us the real Stef this time. Then what did we see in the past 5 weeks or so? A fake Stef? Wax model? Hahaha. if you're not laughing you're a party pooper and you don't get Aussie humor. Although her raspy vocals suited the song, her movements lacked the requisite Tina Turner energy. Di ba? Pilita pala kept telling that she saw either Ken or Stef (I forgot who exactly) performing in Australia. I should behave pala in Australia cause Pilita remembers everything she sees in Australia. Di ba?
Gretchen's mood: Braggy (Showing off her expensive purse on national TV)

Jan Kurt Nieto sang Could It Be I'm Falling In Love and danced with a very unwilling girl. His performance was soo cheesy. Di ba? It's like he's trying to be Grease, the musical ha. Di ba? Judges said Jan is so pop, which I don't think is a bad thing since Idol is a pop competition. Mr. C made this Play that Funky Music comment which i didn't completely get cause Gretchy's talking to me all the time. I can't concentrate! Mr. C pala had a nice haircut and he's wearing something very public school teacher. Like Albert's clothes in Scorpio Nights 2.
Gretchen's mood: Chatty

Reymond Sajor said he's not fond of kulots. He started singing I'd Rather by Luther Vandross while sitting and ended it standing. And when he sang "I'd rather have the one who holds my heart, he raised his hand and closed it as if holding something in it. Last week, while Elvin and I were watching Reymond on TV we were blown away by his performance. Now it's just boring and very multiplex. You know what I mean when I say multiplex di ba? The judges said he's very Pinoy balladeer. That's what I meant too when i said multiplex. And Reymond made sagot Mr. C a little after his critique.
Gretchen's mood: Still very chatty. (Why can't she talk with her daughter na lang kaya? Di ba?)

Jeli's video flashed and she looked like Miriam Quiambao during the Ms. Universe pageant. Then she appeared live, looking like Miriam Quiambao... in an Extra Challenge Taong Grasa episode. Who styled the girl? Why is her nose shining? Her top made her look like a prostitute (no offense Jeli ha, it's not your fault) and her pants made her look like a trashy skater. Her song paled in comparison with the original version. Jeli's version was lazy and lacking in "ooomph!" Haha. i can't believe I just said that. Pilita didn't know what to say. It was like she wanted to quit na as a judge. Di ba?
Gretchen's mood: Bouncy (I swear, she's bouncing up and down her seat!)

Gian sang James Brown's I feel Good without the very crucial "Aw!" parts. She asked us to give it up for the horns. It's obvious that Gian worked hard for this song. But without the "Aw!" parts, it's kulang talaga. One needs soul talaga in order to pull this song off. Di ba? I'm not saying Gian doesn't have soul. He's from a christian boy band so I'm sure he's got a good soul. Hahaha. Maybe he could have bared more of his soul through another song. Like Depcehe Mode's Somebody. Kidding. I know that's not Soul. Di ba?
Gretchen's mood: Silly (sticking her tongue out)

Next is Miguel who's giving me (and Gretchy) a run for our money (his chocolate nips, they make a rainbow). Gretchy and I were giggling. He looked like an epileptic when he sang Let's stay together. The good, I liked the way he tweaked some parts of the song. Tha bad, the judges think teh song was too low for him. Then I think he said something about me and Gretch but again I didn't catch that cause I'm so distracted by Gretch' kwentos. Di ba? I saw pala a Miguel tarpaulin which said, "dial 1 908 5 idol 01-12" Are Miguel's fans voting for everybody?
Gretchen's mood: Giggly

Pow was next with Usher's You Got It Bad. There she went again with the totoong Pow. Pow's the second seizure performer of the night. I don't like her dancing! It's like her head is about to fall off. Di ba? Plus I don't like the song on her. I like her sweet voice pa naman when she sings emotional ballads. Di ba? If I can only change my voice (which sounds like President GMA's vocie), I want Pow's.
Gretchen's mood: Itchy (Her thumb's itching to text! kayo ha. Ako i don't text cause floor director said it's bawal pero here goes Gretch setting a bad example on national TV)

Arms was scary. Why is she so mad? Siguro she's on South Beach diet. that's what happens when you lack carbs. You lose all you cool. This girl is so OA. AKo I'm never OA. Di ba? You should all buy DVDs of my films. The legit ones ha. Para may Bahasa subtitles. She sang R-E-S-P-E-C-T na parang there's an unending supply of phleghm in her throat. She could be a vocalist for Slapshock. Di ba?
Gretchen's mood: Happy! Happy! Happy! Don't ask me why.

Drae said You're Still A Young Man was the hardest song he sang. So I was excited to hear the song cause I don't know that song. I only listen to Sombedy. I loop it in my iPod. I listen to it everytime. Even when I was reviewing for my Marketing finals at Griffith University. God! Why is DOminique rolling her eyes at Gretchy? I'm distracted again. So that tsismis they're spreading that the contestants draw numbers to know their performance sequence may not be true cause they obviously saved the best for last. Drae was so galing. Di ba? Dati I can't see through his "volunteer" image but It seemed that Drae really picked up from his very boring "Hang On" last week and now I'm a Drae voter!
Gretchen's mood: Still on cloud 9.

So there's my recap. Sorry I wasn't able to concentrate on some parts cause my new friend Gretch was sooo talkative. I can't tell her naman to shut up di ba? First, Tony Boy was there. Di ba? Then Dominique pa looked masunget. She might attack me. Di ba? Then I don't want her naman to tell the guards, "Guard, please tell this bold star to step out of my theater!"

Gretchy telling me that will be so wrong.

Wrong, because she should say, "Guard, please tell this sexy star slash entrepreneur slash marketing degree holder from Griffith University Queensland Australia to step out of my theater!"

Di ba?